


Thorn In My Side

by BumpkinDice



Category: Naruto
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Attempt at Humor, Blow Jobs, Cheesy, Crack, Cussing, Fluff, He is upset, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, POV Izuna, Pranking, Uchiha Izuna Lives, i think, izuna is so done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:08:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24749623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BumpkinDice/pseuds/BumpkinDice
Summary: Izuna is not having the best time in the newly built village. In fact, he's quite upset about it, or a certain pair in particular.
Relationships: Senju Hashirama/Uchiha Madara
Comments: 14
Kudos: 72





	Thorn In My Side

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this for sailorien on discord for the Founders Server gift exchange! I hope it's enjoyable to read! 30 minutes is pretty brought o work with.

This village Izuna stood in was built for peace. To cease the endless clashing between the great clans, The Uchihas and The Senjus. Long have they been enemies, seeking to spill blood from one another. But now they were united within a single village, told that from now on, they stood together.   
  
Izuna thought it all a load of flaming crap. ‘Village hidden in the leaves my ass,’ he scoffed, crossing his arms. More like a place for his elder brother to fuck and be fucked by that tree of a Senju. So now Izuna was stuck here, having to witness daily the foul intimacy those two morons had for each other.    
  
‘You be the Hokage,’ he heard Hasirama say the other day. Madara had shaken his head and said that the Senju should be it. And the conversation quickly looped around to tossing the title to each other, giving pathetic reasons why the other was more qualified. ‘Disgusting’, Izuna thought, irked that they clearly didn’t care who saw their verbal dick sucking going on. Not that he hadn’t physically seen it, either. Izuna shivered at the intrusive memories of when he had entered his and Madara’s shared home, only to find them in the middle of a blow job. In the kitchen, where he made his goddamn meals!   
  
No, he would make a better Hokage than them. Hell, he’d even vote for that White Demon, Tobirama. At least he was a man of decency and respect. Not that he’d ever vocalize it. That one didn’t need an ego boost. Though he had grown closer to him, bonding over their mutual hatred of their siblings overtly sappy displays of affections. Izuna having gotten over nearly having his guts spill out of him the day Tobirama had plunged his kunai in him. Fucker was lucky Izuna was a reasonable man, to a degree. But this?   
  
He had enough of it, honestly. This peace was a deception, this village a cage. And Izuna was bored beyond belief and irritated. So he’d make those fools suffer for what they’ve been doing to him. Too long had he stood, docile, and accepting all the new changes without much complaint, if only to appease his brother and cure him of the longing gazes he held for Hahsirama. He regretted ever encouraging Madara to just come clean to the other man and fuck.    
  
With his mind up, Izuna set to cause some much-needed chaos. He’d prank those fuckers so badly. Make them rethink their decisions to ever kiss in front of him, to serenade each other with the lamest of praises and compliments. Of course, those two would fall for each other, they were the same level of ridiculous. Izuna swore he would never spew the foul things they did. ‘Honey bun bun, my left ass cheek’, Izuna thought, scrunching up his face in displeasure when he thought of how Madara had blushed and pushed the other away for calling him that but never going further. Not putting his foot down for the idiotic pet names.    
  
‘Tobira, did you hear the latest nickname your brother gave Madara?’ he had said, breaking into the albino’s lab after that incident. The pale man had glared, grumbling about needing better seals. Izuna had rolled his eyes, knowing he’d just bypass those. If not on the first try, the next. He wouldn’t quit.    
  
‘And you would do better? Half the things you call others are too vulgar,’ Tobirama said, snatching a scroll from Izuna’s inspection. Rude.   
  
‘You’re just saying that because I called you a virgin. That isn’t even vulgar. You’re just a prude. Look, I’ll help you out with that problem,’ Izuna said. It was safe to say that unless he wanted another near-death experience, it would be best he left there. Which he did, the Senju cursing right behind him. The taller man had yelled about how not sleeping around, unlike him, was not a problem that needed fixing. Izuna knew that but he couldn’t help but tease and maybe have a little fun, get the man to loosen up. And hell, he wasn’t some sleazeball. He was just a regular man with a healthy libido. Who happened to be able to get people asking for a night in bed. He was a pleasant man to be with, could he be blamed for that?   
  
The Uchiha settled on top of Madara’s futon, knowing those two would come later to have a romp in the sheets, again. He was placing a paper seal under the mat. One that would set off a series of alarms once enough weight was placed on it, precisely that of two fully grown men who needed to learn how to put up silencing seals when having sex. Izuna wanted to pull his hair out, angered he knew the moans of those two when orgasming. When it was all set up, he smiled to himself deviously. He’d have to thank Mito who unknowingly suggested this to him.    
  
That’s when he finally heard footsteps that sounded like they were headed this way. Shooting up, he looked around and saw the window across the room and the closet closer to him. He cursed, calling himself a fool for not keeping his senses up. He wasn’t a sensor but it wasn’t as if he was completely useless at it. When the doorknob jiggled, he leapt to the closet, hiding within. There he saw through the crack of the opening of the closet, the dreaded couple making out, barely being able to walk without stumbling. What a sight to behold said no one, in fact, Izuna cursed his eyesight. He’d rather have no eyeballs nor hearing. This was a torture he wished upon no one.    
  
“Fuck, Hashi, let me undress,” Madara said, proceeding to remove all articles of clothing. Izuna immediately covered his eyes. ‘No, no, no,’ he thought, wishing he had just busted through the window. Better to cause property damage than be even more scarred for life. When he heard their bodies hit the mat, he held in his breath, waiting for the seal to set off. When it didn’t, he almost groaned out in pain, knowing his escape was gone and he’d have to be in his brother’s closet while they were ready to fuck like wild animals.    
  
That is until the seal did activate and not in the way he had expected. It was like a firework really, an explosion large enough to cause smoke to fill the room, yet the flames were easily put out. No real damage, unless you counted the fact that Madara’s hair now barely reached his shoulder. Now Madara decided to use his sensor skill and ran up to the closet, opening it and glaring at Izuna like he was ready to murder him in the most gruesome way.   
  
“Hey, big brother,” He said with the sweetest smile he could muster, the one Madara caved at too easily. Not this time, though.    
  
By the end of the day, Madara had moved out, Izuna clutched at his chopped ponytail, and the house was silent. He wondered if Tobirama would kick them out soon enough. Izuna sighed and brought out some saki, ready to drown away his bittersweet victory.    
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hello, how are you? Tell me about your feelings. 
> 
> (Kudos and comments appreciated, yes, simple and short are still loved.)


End file.
